Ugh

I am cranky today. I knew it was coming. But the closer it gets the more I am wondering, WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I am too old to go back to school. I have 3 kids and a husband and maybe a new dog (but thats another post). I don't mind going back to work. Thats not the part I am worried about. It will be 7pm-7am. nobody will miss me and I won't miss out on anything. I haven't ever had a day job...except the school...and that was short lived ;) But starting next Monday, orientation is 8 days from 8am to 5pm. That means sis with my mom at work all day with no nap and the boys will have to ride the bus. I know families do it everyday but I am not handling it very well. Hubby laughed at me last night when I was complaining. That really didn't help. He doesn't realize what his life would be like if I wasn't home everyday :) Then to top it off I was reminded about a prior obligation for next Tue and guess where I will be? Oh yes. I had a meltdown. I called nursing administration this morning to tell them I wouldn't be there that morning but I would be there by 1 when they returned from lunch. She was not too understanding. Apparently I HAVE to be there. Maybe its just my mood today but I am thinking there is a possibility I will not be returning to work or school. Think they would understand if I said I couldn't start til Jan 1?