times of change

I'm not good at it, change that is.  I don't like it. In fact, if I thought I could get away with it I might just possibly consider sitting down in the floor and throwing a little temper tantrum. But now that I am a year older (my kids insisted I have a b day no matter how hard I tried to convince them it was no longer necessary) I don't think I have a choice.  And to top it off there are several things changing at once...even better. I am having a super hard time adjusting to my new routine this semester.  My program director left and the new one is going to be fine, I think, but she is quite unorganized.  That all by itself is a huge issue for me. But throw in the fact that she is new and I have NO idea what to expect from her or what she expects from me, and it is magnified just a tad. Not to mention I am now participating in actual real life clinical activities and I am just a smidge overwhelmed.  I have NEVER, EVER, EVER been in a clinic unless it was with a sick kid that belongs to me. Making the role change from nurse to provider is slightly terrifying. I feel like a complete and total idiot.  It is stressful. Then you add in the fact that for the last I don't know how many years I have been the one to take the kids to school and pick them up (for the most part) and now I can only do it a few times a week and we are all having issues big enough to warrant therapy! I know it will get better and I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because we only have 60 days left in the semester, but ya know, who is counting, right?! But in the last 3 weeks I have seriously questioned my sanity. So, besides all that fun and excitement, we are moving my grandma into an assisted living facility. She is the one who wants to go and she is super excited. I was really happy for her too until we started moving her things out of the house and into the apartment while deciding what to sell and watching strangers carry it out the door. Packing up her stuff and (that dreaded word) changing everything.  I kept saying I was worried about her and how she would handle it that I was totally blindsided when I was the one having trouble. I'm sure it has been worse because of everything else going on at the same time, but goodness I didn't see it coming. It will be a great thing for everyone I think.  Mom will have more availability to go to TX and actually get to stay for a while, things here will be less of a worry for everyone and my grandma will be happier and much less of a danger to herself and others :) Don't get me wrong, I want all of those things to happen, I just don't want anything major to CHANGE!!  I just haven't figured out how to stop it ;)